Lovin and Living
This is a place for me to just be me… (All content Copyrighted Yeve Eeffoc 2008-2015)Archive for Truth
What Do You Stand For?
This has been on my mind for a while now. It started with a friend posting about politicians (will get to that later) and then really came to my mind when a friend’s son needed help with a speech (will get to that later).
Do you really know what you stand for?
Sure anyone can say they believe in Christ or they believe in free speech or living life to the fullest. Or anything for that matter but what does it really mean?
A friend of mine posted on facebook that politicians wouldn’t have such a hard time answering questions and voting if they actually knew what they stood for and what they believed in. They wouldn’t be so wishy-washy if they really believed in what they say they do! This right here is true. If you really, truly believe in something and stand for it nothing is going to sway how you feel or think about it. It does not mean you can’t listen to how others feel or believe about something but it does not change you. You can still hear what others are saying and stand for your beliefs!
My friend’s son struggles with speech. Actually I don’t think he really struggles with speech I just think he doesn’t like writing about what this teacher is requiring. This class has been about personal growth and their beliefs and the final speech was supposed to be about what they stand for. He could not come up with anything because he has convinced himself that he does not really believe in anything (future politician here?) and that anything he does believe in isn’t really strong enough to be truth. I worked with him for the good portion of a Sunday. I even wrote up a demo speech to get his brain working and thinking (which it did).
Then a while ago a certain person on facebook put that he was going to a bigger town to hit all the strip clubs and he couldn’t wait. It was his bachelor party night. Lots of people liked his status and I put him on blocked (at least his status updates that is). As a person who used to struggle with porn and not being good enough for my spouse this is the last thing I ever want to hear about. Not because I used to struggle with it. Not because of anything other than those woman are going to be in his brain for the rest of his life. Things are not going well with his wife, he is not happy with their sex life, he doesn’t like how she looks all of a sudden and lets pull up those images and deal with life by imagining others.
There are things I know I stand for and believe in. There are things that I won’t tolerate in my life because of what I stand for and believe in. But there are a lot of areas where I am wishy-washy. I have never really taken the time to actually think about them. I have never really taken the time to truly believe one way or another.
How as an adult who is 36 years old have I left so much in my life undecided? How have I let so many important things go by the way-side?
There are things I believe in but as I sit and really think about my life I think I have more things I am truly wishy-washy about; which is a very scared and sad thought for me.
What is it that you stand for? What is it that you truly believe in? How does it affect your day-to-day life? How does it affect your interactions with others who you have contact with?
The truth is what you stand for and what you believe in really should affect all aspects in your life! How you interact with others. How you respond to things. How you make the decisions in your life.
Going back to the whole strip club thing on facebook. Everyone who liked the comment and even the person who made the comment claimed to be a Christian. They go to church. They have been baptized. They are raising their children in the church. Yet they all think it is great to be going to a strip club. What is that saying to the world about their Christian belief’s? What is that saying to their children about what they believe?
Do you feel like what you stand for shows with the choices you make and the things you do? Because they really should reflect what you stand for and what you believe in!
Temptation Part Two
John Ortberg has written a book (a lot of books actually) called, “the me I want to be”. The book has been very eye-opening for me in regards to many things, including how I think about God and my relationship with Him.
Chapter 12 is titled, “Temptation: How Not to Get Hooked”.
At the end of Temptation of Part One I was wondering how I get past the point of just avoiding my temptation. How to I truly deal with temptation.
In the 2nd second of this chapter it is sub-titled: >>Ask for Help
Nothing makes temptation more powerful than isolation, but we do not face temptation alone. Paul said that “no temptation has seized you expect what is common to human beings. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted he will also provide a way out so you can stand up under it.” For Joseph, when he was being propositioned by Potiphar’s wife, this literally meant running out of the room.
I think the single most common “way out,” however, involved talking about our temptations with another person. A friend of mine wrestles with gossip, but early on in our relationship he made one of the most candid confessions I have ever heard: “If you want to keep something confidential, don’t tell me – I leak like a sieve!”
There was something so disarming about his honesty that instead of being pushed away, I was drawn to him. This temptation was simply the dark side of his giftedness – he was one of the most delightfully verbal people I have known. We began to talk and pray over why he was drawn to gossip, where it got him in trouble, and how he could get free. He eventually became one of the friends to whom I trusted my deepest secrets.
I think asking for help and sharing with someone is very important in making strides in overcoming your temptation. I also believe it is very important not to just share with someone once and call it good!
As Christians we are called to be transparent and honest. I think that means even if we are going to hurt someone with what we are about to say to them we need to.
In class there is an older lady who I love dearly (as I do all of them). When she was younger she had 5 children and her husband died. As time went on she met her current husband and they got married. She shared with us in class that before they got married they agreed to never hide or lie to each other because they had seen what it can do to a marriage. They agreed no matter how much the truth hurt each other they would always be honest with each other. And they have been.
She said there have been many hurts because of the truth being told but they have always been able to deal with whatever it was head on that way.
Truth and honesty and transparency isn’t easy in any relationship but you can’t work through any of your temptations if you keep them all hidden.
Stay tuned for Temptation Part Three.
School, Weather, Stress
My life is nothing but stressful. I hate having a stressful life. I feel like I never have peace.
In 1 week I will be back in court for the custody trial. The will be ex will be on the stand first and then me. Then it will be jack in the box and then if there is time it will be the person who did the custody evaluation.
I am not prepared for this. We have a trial brief and I truly should know it from front to back so that when my lawyer questions me I can just answer the questions. Sadly I have not even looked at it since we wrote it up on June. I know I need to do it. I know I am running out of time. Still though I just have no idea how to fit it all in.
School has been stressful for me this time around. I am a grown up. I made the choice to go to school. I have to make myself to the work. I have to make myself do the assignments and participate in the discussions. I am struggling with all of it. Winter here in this dreadful state has been coming early. Which brings on the darn depression earlier. That I don’t think is the biggest problem. I think the biggest problem is the lack of time to complete these things. Jack in the box works so many hours that I play mom and get very little done with school work during the day. I do get some things done but not many. Most of the time by the time he gets home there is no sun so I can’t go do photographs. On the days he does have off he typically likes to hunt and fish or whatever. Which we both try to work it around so that he can do it and I can do school stuff. It just gets so darn hard. There are not enough days of the week and not enough hours in the day and not enough weather cooperating for me to do this crap!
That is the other issue – on the days I do have that I can go and take the photos for the assignments it seems to be raining here. Rain would be a great thing if I wanted a water photograph. Typically though that isn’t what my photo is supposed to be about. Sigh.
I have not been able to just sit and type this all out so while I wish it was a continuous blog it has not been and so my mind has shifted.
I have a lot of stress in my life and I hate it. There are a lot of things I wish went differently but they don’t. They are not things in my control to change either.
We always keep our eyes open for houses to rent/purchase. Each time we find something though it seems that we have spent our saved up money that was for moving out. Each day though I am reminded of how much I hate the place we are living. I know some of the things are stupid little things. Like the fact that I have had to replace just about every door knob in this house! Or the fact that I feel as if I need to walk around with a hammer because none of the nails stay in place in the trim and we rip a ton of clothing on them. Or how about the fact that all of the ceiling fan/lights are broken. Or the fact that my dad who isn’t an electrician but might as well be spent a day here fixing a lot of our electrical issues. Or how about the fact that I have to use duct tape on the furnace so that it runs. Or how about the fact that we have replaced the glass in 3 windows but the house really needs all new windows. Or how about the fact that there is a leak someplace since our last two water bills have been up over $500 and the last one was near $1000. Or how about the fact that our heating bill is nearing $200 a month year-round (we are on the budget). Or how about the fact that our electric bill is just about the same because some of our appliances have to run all the time in order to keep our food cold. Or how about the fact that under our sink is all black mold or if you look up in the shower the ceiling is all mold.
We spend so much money to live here that we have no money to save to move away from here.
I am so frustrated with being here. I am frustrated with a lot of things about this house but I am not willing to put the money into the things because it isn’t my house! We actually were going to buy this place. But considering he wants $150 for it. Considering the fact he bought it in 2000. Considering the fact the house itself is rotting and how much we would actually have to put into it to make it okay. It isn’t worth what he wants for it. I am not stupid. I might have been stupid to move here but I am not stupid in paying that much for this dump.
Deep breaths and let it all go…
Lovin and Living 