Lovin and Living
This is a place for me to just be me… (All content Copyrighted Yeve Eeffoc 2008-2015)Archive for Surgery
HUGE Life Changes
Since I last wrote life has taken some unexpected twists and turns. None of them were planned but I have been praying a lot. I have had a feeling about one of the changes for a while but just never had the courage to step forward with it.
I had a friend who I have tried to witness through by being a really good friend. I have failed a few times I am sure but I have tried. I have tried to be a person who is there for them when things go wrong. I have tried to help her and her husband when asked because their relationship is in a really rough spot. I have tried to be there for her children when things go crazy. I have tried to encourage things like counseling, church, and seeking out different Doctors for family members because they make a world of difference with treatment. She has been a person who talks about others, often. She swears she would say those things to people face to face but never does. She has been a person who will gladly help you, as long as you do something in return for her.
Earlier in the year she told a mutual friend some really hurtful things about me. It was about something I love, someone I love and a hardship we were dealing with. And she has never in a the time I have known her said one thing to me about any of those things! Not once. So when I heard them I was taken aback at first. But then as I prayed about it I felt like I was being called to stay and witness to her and her family. So I did. But as time went on I was working through forgiving what I had heard and thought I was doing well. Until more and more little things would come up. And I realized that it was just a toxic relationship I was dealing with.
And so I began praying to God about what am I supposed to do and really it became obvious what I was supposed to do a while ago. I was hearing gentle nudging back in July that I was ignoring about this. It had become very clear about a week after my surgery that I was supposed to let the relationship go and move on. The biggest thing for me was how was I going to do that! This person doesn’t just let things go. If anyone has walked out of her life it becomes an obsession of hers. She needs them in her life, she needs to know why because she didn’t do anything wrong, how dare they walk away, and it just goes on and on. So after my surgery and her lack of help that was promised for something in exchange, which I kept my part and spent a lot of time on and then she didn’t help me, I realized it was really time to walk away.
So after many failed attempts I wrote a letter. Made a lot of edits. Slept on it and mailed it out. And from the time I mailed it to the time she got it all holy hell broke out it felt like. She text saying she knew something was wrong and wanted to know what was up. I told her it was coming in a letter and to please let it go until she got the letter. And she almost did. After I sent that she sent another text an hour or so later and then on top of it all sent one to Jack in the Box. That was my final straw right there. I knew I had done the right thing and the next text I sent was let it go, leave him out of it, he isn’t one of your other friends husbands and goodbye.
Anxiety rules my life and I was really anxious over all of this because I know how she has been in the past with others in her life. And she did try here a bit as well but I stopped it and I felt good about it. I felt I was doing the right thing. It was okay to be firm and stick to my guns. And I felt okay over her getting the letter. Whatever was to be would be because God was in control and I was following His prompts and His lead.
That was one of the hardest things I have done in a very long time. And it hasn’t even been a week yet but the stress levels over this friendship have dissipated in huge amounts! I don’t really have anyone I talk to daily, well other that I used to for her, but I am okay with it.
I also had surgery. It was and is very painful. I am making it through though. I am looking forward to getting over the hill called recovery and running down the other side of it! I have been working on getting my house back in order, which is very painful, literally. Even simple things like doing the dishes and laundry are painful and by the end of the day if I have done too much my shoulder screams at me. I haven’t done really big things yet like washing bathtubs or sinks or vacuuming or things like that but I am attempting to get some things done. And I feel good about that.
I am giving myself until the end of October to really nail down a routine for our daily lives. Baby Monkey and I have some things we need to and get in the habit of doing and right now it is hard with a gimpy arm. I plan on getting us back to the gym in the mornings, coming home and working on daily chores and doing a weekly chore (like focusing on one room a week so I can get major tasks done), and going from there. There are some days that it will have to be a bit off because of other things in our lives like Bible Study and Speech Therapy.
Another huge life change has been the fact that we believe Baby Monkey has a dairy allergy. It has been a really rough road. He doesn’t eat a lot to begin with so this has been a huge blow to his dietary needs and nutrition. Praying that we get the hang of this no dairy because he is having reactions to just being touched with it now that we have removed it from his diet. Who knew that eliminating it would cause him to have worse reactions. Sigh… But the scary thing is had we continued to feed him this (and there have been times I have wanted to just say screw it, but haven’t) what could have happened to him.
So this house has been going through some major life changes and overall for the first time in a really long time, I feel okay about all of them. Maybe when you follow His lead you feel more at ease about the direction He is leading you, even if you really didn’t want to go down that path. It isn’t that I am thrilled with all of these things but it is okay and it will be okay because no matter I have Him by my side!
Middle Monkey Update
Well we saw the specialist today and it is good with maybe some bad.
She is treating it like a normal toe fracture. Taping the two toes together and wearing a hard boot. We will go back in about a month to make sure it isn’t growing in a funny direction.
The really good news is his growth plate hasn’t started fusing yet (which is expected at his young age). So even though it is into the growth plate it should be okay, for now.
The potentially bad news is that his growth plate hasn’t started fusing yet. So because he has a fracture into his growth plate, while it is healing it could trigger his growth plate to start fusing. That would be a bad thing since his growth plate shouldn’t start fusing for a few years yet.
So they are going to be watching it for about a year.
If it does start growing then they will have to take the next step and do surgery.
So for now we are happy and optimistic.
Bible Study!
Just can’t wait. All summer long I don’t participate in the summer Bible study because they don’t have child care. Well the fall program is starting up and I am super excited about it.
I love the woman in this group. They are a family to me.
One of them has gone through something similar to what I am going through with Oldest Monkey. She is always so caring and prayers and asks how I am doing and how he is doing.
One of them encouraged me to get married like I wanted to and not to worry about what anyone thought or said.
One of them has helped out when we were having a really hard time.
One of them brought a meal over when I had surgery.
One of them asked for help with her daughters senior photos.
One of them was in need of help and I encouraged her.
Honestly these woman are a huge support group. They are loving and supportive and open and honest and I am the same to them.
Bible study starts up tomorrow and I can’t wait!
I Have Been MIA
I have been missing. I had a really rough week last week. I am going to attempt to make this a short post but knowing myself it won’t be.
Last week Tuesday my parents came over to work on the small bathroom. They have taken it upon themselves to take my bathroom apart and are redoing it. I mean we had planned on redoing it anyway but we hadn’t gotten that far yet. And so my parents sort of took over taking it apart and redoing the bathroom on their own.
All day Tuesday my mom did laundry. My dad worked on the bathroom. And I worked on being stressed out. Tuesday night when Jack in the Box got home I was having a lot of back pain and abdomen pain on the left side.
Tuesday night I spent a good portion of the night crying, in the bathroom, tossing and turning, and keeping Jack in the Box awake. At some point he asked me if he needed to take me to the ER and I told him no. I promised him I would call the doctors first thing in the morning on Wednesday.
I got up on Wednesday and called my regular OB and my specialists office. I basically was told by the regular OB’s office that I could not speak to someone right away and I had to wait for a call back. I left all my information and began the waiting game. The specialists though were a bit more concerned but the doctors were out for the morning. So I got up and I didn’t feel as bad as I had all night so I blew it all off and decided and go to Bible Study. When it was time to ask for prayers I just sat there and never said a thing to anyone because I truly felt like I was just overreacting and making a big deal out of nothing. I was thinking it was just me having some growing pains from the ligaments growing and spreading.
I got home and I still had not heard back from my regular OB’s office but the specialist office had called back and told me to get into the ER. So I went to the ER. After an ultrasound saying my cyst was the same and there wasn’t anything else they could do I was sent home.
Wednesday night I was up all night long in pain. It was really bad. I couldn’t sleep. I was crying non-stop. I was out of breath. I was miserable. I thought I was going to die. I actually was hoping I would die because I was hurting so badly.
I contacted my regular OB’s office and no one called me back so I called my specialists office and they called my regular OB’s office. My regular OB’s office then called me and they took all the information from me. Then after I got off the phone within about 20 minutes I had a call from the Dr. who was on call telling me to go into the ER yet again. So Jack in the Box (who had left work on Wednesday) was not going into work on Thursday now because he wasn’t letting me drive to the ER on my own.
I ended up being admitted on Thursday. And by Friday morning my doctor was in the room telling me she was taking me off from my heparin and doing surgery by the night. She was hoping it was the cyst and whatever was going on just wasn’t showing up on the ultrasounds they were doing. Then all of the warnings and what could happen and were given. I started to cry.
Basically my doctor (who is amazing in case you’re wondering) was going to attempt to do this as a laparoscopic surgery. It is a very difficult surgery to do while you’re not pregnant let alone 25 weeks pregnant. If she was unable to do what needed to be done laparoscopicly then it was going to require an incision to be made from the top of my pelvis bone to the top of my uterus.
The chance of me going into preterm labor was pretty high if she was going to have to open me up all the way. The fact I am diabetic makes the healing process a bit more difficult. And as she sat there I started to cry. This was not was I was planning on doing! It isn’t something anyone ever plans on doing I know.
Friday night came and went and there was no surgery. My heparin levels were still to high. And so it was delayed until Saturday morning.
Jack in the Box was off most of the week – he didn’t go into work on Saturday and he was off on Sunday as well.
The surgery took place on Saturday and everything went well. My Doctor was able to do it laparoscopic. She had to remove my left fallopian tube, ovary and the cyst. Luckily though it was just a simple cyst and it was not cancerous!
I have to say this past week has been a real push of my faith. The funny thing is I wasn’t worked up or overly stressed or upset over any of it. I mean I was the morning of the surgery. Then I kind of lost it as all the different people were coming explaining the risks of each part of the surgery and what could happen but prior to that I had a complete peace about me.
I just kept on talking to God and feeling His presence which gave me a peace I haven’t had before. There were times I would sit there and begin to think maybe I should just say I am fine and not have the surgery. I had my mom making a fuss over me having it being pregnant and what about the baby, etc. Which of course didn’t help my decision any. I did decide though that whatever happened was going to happen and God was with me.
I was honest with Jack in the Box and said something to him on Friday night about a fear I had. I said something about if something happened to Baby Monkey if he would hate me forever and he was like never. I would never hate you if something happened to him because of this. And he asked me why I would even think that and I told him because I would hate myself if something happened to him. The truth is also and I didn’t say this because if something had every happened to Middle Monkey the Ex would have hated me forever and that would have made me hate myself forever. Jack in the Box was shocked though that I would even think anything like that. Which made me cry because I have never had that kind of unconditional love before (from someone in the flesh).
The surgery was a success. The recovery is slow going. I am at home and now having difficulties with one of my classes in school (more like the professor). I am doing more than I should around the house but that is who I am. I am not supposed to drive either but I am already going to break that today. I must have my blood drawn today; it was the only way my specialist would allow me to leave the hospital yesterday.
Last night was rough – I had to confront Oldest Monkey and let him know where I stand at this point in time. We are going to be really struggling next week or the week after because of Jack in the Box’s lack of paycheck from all the time he took off this past week. But we will just have to make due (going to make things difficult with the upcoming wedding but).
Things are going to get better. I am 26 weeks pregnant. I have a Baby Monkey who is still inside of me growing like he should be!
Things might be rough around here right now and life might not be going exactly like we have planned but God has been with me and He has been faithful even when I have been at my lowest.
I have been missing but I am doing okay. I am recovering from a surgery that could have taken my life and my little ones life but we are both here and doing okay. And my doctor said the baby looks great – which was so very cool to hear!
Life is good and God is great. The peace I have had over the past week has been amazing and it is all because no matter what happens He is with me; good or bad.
Lovin and Living 