Lovin and Living

This is a place for me to just be me… (All content Copyrighted Yeve Eeffoc 2008-2015)

Archive for Peace

Welcome 2015


Welcome to 2015!

This is going to be an amazing year.

How can I say that so certain?

Because I have determined that even when bad times happen, God is with me and that makes everything; good or bad, amazing!

Jesus Christ walked on this planet. He lived and then died so that I may live! That makes it all worth it, everything is worth what Jesus Christ gave to me!

May you find the love, peace and joy in the upcoming year!

Life and Complications


Things have been a bit complicated since I last wrote here.

I had to have a colonoscopy on the 13th. The prep for that procedure is awful. Although I have to say after everything that has gone on; the prep out of the hospital is WAY better than the prep in the hospital but I will get to that later. During the procedure he ended up removing 3 more polyps. One was a larger one and two smaller ones.

I have had one of these done before and after it was over all was good. I was fine, had no pain, no complications and zero issues. After this one though I was dealing with some pain and I was told it was normal and that it would go away. But not even a week later I started to have some bleeding. Any bleeding from the bum area is scary for people but for me, I am on blood thinners so it makes it all the more scary.

I went to the ER and was sent home because they could not see anything wrong and my labs were stable. I ended up in the ER again and was placed in observation for four days. Not only that but I had to have an emergency colonoscopy. So the first night I was in the hospital I was prepped for my emergency colonoscopy. And let me say I think the drug companies have a sense of humor!

photo-30Do you see what that is called? Go Lytely! There is NO going lightly when you have to drink 4000 ml’s (if you need a better visual that is about 18 cups of saltly fluid) of colon blow over 3 hours. Not to mention they mix it with plain water and it comes to you warm. You have to fill the cup with ice so not only are you drinking the 4000 ml’s of the GoLYTELY you are drinking all the ice! My stomach was so upset by the end of it I was going from all openings. I had vomiting, bowel movements and urination. It was the best time I have had in a long time!

They did the colonoscopy and ended up clipping off one of the locations of the polyps and did some epi shots around all of the polyp sites.

I was then on a liquid diet until Saturday (no food from Wednesday to Saturday stinks!). And I was finally released from the hospital on Sunday.

Things seem to be going better and I am out of the hospital so that is a plus.

Life is always full of complications. I wish we didn’t have them but each of us does. How do you handle your complications? It doesn’t have to be something so drastic either. A complication in your life, no matter the form, is still a complication.

I have to say that I handled this much better than expected. I didn’t freak out the way I probably should have. I had this peace and calm about me this time. I was joking with the nurses and doctors about certain things. It was different from how I have been in the past.

I hope this means that I am growing in many ways in my life.

 

Random


This is just going to be a very random post. Most of it won’t make much sense I am sure but I have a lot of one or two sentences floating around my brain…..

Today I finally read day 100 for my Bible reading plan. I have two different reading plans going on right now. The one I am actually reading is the Canonical and I should be closer to 300 days than 100 days. But I am reading and that is what is important. I then listen to Four Streams as I fall asleep at night. Both of these are from the YouVersion application on my phone. Love it really. If I don’t have my Bible I can still read, but I really do like having my Bible. I really like highlighting things He is pointing out to me. I made it too day 100! And it was: 2 Samuel 19, 2 Samuel 20 and 2 Samuel 21. It will probably me so much more when I hit day 183 and I have passed the half way mark!

My Middle Monkey is becoming involved with things as school. I am grateful because for a very long time he has avoided things that have to do with the school. At the same time I hate that he is involved with things because the things he picks seem to take up so much time. Call me selfish but I like my Wednesdays. I get to go to Bible study in the morning and I get to either do choir or Bible study at night. But with him doing all these school things that is becoming really difficult. Especially now that he no longer having practice at the school and we have to drive him to and from his practice and to and from practice to his team dinners. Not only does it cut out the one thing I love, it is going to break our gas budget.

Oldest Monkey got a new job. He starts his training this week. All I can say about this is please pray that he picks up quickly and is able to keep and maintain this job.

Jack in the Box is finally an employee at the place he has been temping. It comes with a small raise. Hours don’t change, days don’t change and shift doesn’t change. We will be able to enroll (or maybe I should say we have to enroll) and participate with the insurance plan they offer. They only offer one and it isn’t really that bad compared to others he has had but it still is going to hurt our budget. But I am giving thanks and praise that we are able to move forward. I have joy and feel peace about this.

My mouth is killing me. I am seriously about ready to go on an all liquid diet because everything I get is getting stuck and then I am having pain. I am beginning to doubt being able to hold out until the insurance starts. And then getting in for a first appointment and then back for repair work and coming up with the money for it. And praying that it hasn’t gotten so bad that I need a root canal instead of just being cleaned out and refilled.

I am so exhausted. I am beginning to think that something is going on with me. I don’t sleep well at night. But not only that but I think my health or lack of health has a lot to do with it (duh). Maybe going on a liquid diet wouldn’t be such a bad thing! hahaha I really need to lose some weight so I can start feeling better. I am beginning to feel like a hypochondriac with all that is “wrong” with me.

 

Prayers for Chris and Family


For the past twenty-six days I have posted about Cards for Chris. Today I have spent the day praying. I went to church and cried at the songs because Chris is now with the Lord. His cancer brought him back to the Lord.

Please pray for this family. There is joy because he is pain-free, with his brother and welcomed with open arms by Jesus. But they are missing their child. He has left this earth. They will never be able to touch him, hold him, smell him, hug him, hold his hand or tell him it will all be okay because God is with you again.

My heart is breaking for this family. I can’t even begin to imagine the physical and emotional pain they are going through. But the one thing I can do for them is pray. Pray for peace and understanding. It is all I can do for them.

This young man had 17 short years here on this earth. But in those 17 years he was able to love, be loved, make people laugh, and have an understand above and beyond most people twice his age do. He also found the Lord, which is what a lot of parents hope for their children. It is my hope for my Monkeys. So he is going to be physically missed but thankfully they will all be reunited with each other and the Lord!

Breath In, Breath Out


Waiting is a very hard thing for me to do. Then again I don’t know anyone who enjoys waiting.

I spoke with the doctor’s office today. Youngest Monkey has some blood work abnormalities. They are sending her to a hematologist. So we wait for a call about an appointment.

I am struggling with a lot of things right now. I don’t want to struggle. I want to be okay but I am not.

And tonight I just happen to walk into the bathroom and it got even worse.

I am so heavy-hearted.

Between Youngest Monkey’s unknown issues, Baby Monkey’s allergy (and yet unknown) issues, Oldest Monkey’s issues are becoming more and more obvious and Middle Monkey, well he has some medical things going on as well. Add to those our financial issues and other things.

I sat in my backyard today burning wood. For a moment I closed my eyes and was taken to another place. Listening to the fire crackle, the wind rustling the trees and the babbling brook ~ I felt like I was camping next to a stream and all the worries of the world were nowhere near me. And then I opened up my eyes and was brought back to reality and it was a hose behind the chair, and it was my fire pit and it was in my backyard with a fence and no camper. And then all my worries came back.

I did a lot of talking with God today while I was out there, I mean I was out there for 5 hours and my phone died after about 30 minutes so I had a lot of time on my hands. I want to be the person who puts him first, before anyone else and before anything else! I do struggle with those kinds of things.

I keep on saying I don’t know how much more I am going to be able to handle. The thing is at times I think it is because I am not fully leaning on Him. I am not fully trusting in Him. I am not fully engaging in a relationship with Him and His word, so I am not hearing Him.

I need to just breath in and breath out. I need to know that no matter what happens it will be okay because He is with me the whole way. I need to go sit in my backyard, turn on my house and just listen to the wind and babbling brook and God and find peace.

Anxiety


I am so full of anxiety lately. I am tired of it. I want to feel normal. I want to feel okay.

I am so tired of feeling like this.

I am praying that how I feel goes away!

I am so irritable that 90% of my day is me speaking with my voice raised and me not happy. I know I am the only one who can change it and I am working on it but I do notice when the anxiety gets higher so does my voice.

Praying that this feeling and this issue starts to resolve itself soon!

I know where a lot of it comes from and I just don’t want to get into it. If I get into it I feel bad.

Lord please give me some peace with all that is going on. I know that You have a plan. I know that You know what is going to happen and what is going on in our lives. I just pray for peace about all of it because right now I have zero peace with the current situation.

Relief


Ever get a feeling of peace or relief?

Today I have been feeling that. It isn’t overwhelming but it is a nice thing to have.

Jack in the Box still doesn’t have a job. And we don’t know if he will or not anytime soon but today I am feeling pretty relieved.

As I think about the fact that we are going to get a couple of bills paid off it is a great feeling. It doesn’t get us out of debt. It doesn’t make all we owe vanish. It doesn’t put money away for a vacation and that means we might not go again next year. Which breaks my heart for my children.

But I still do have a sense of peace and relief about getting some things paid off.

One Week Until Christmas


I was thinking about this today. There is one week left until Christmas.

Families all around the country and world are laying loved ones to rest.

My Youngest Monkey has been a light in my life lately. My heart just feels so much for those families who lost those children. I could not even begin to imagine having to say have a funeral so close to Christmas.

Not that it really makes much of a difference when you say good-bye to a child but to do it so close to a time of year that is supposed to be so full of joy, love and peace.

In our family we are celebrating Jesus being born. He came to this world to save us sinners from our mistakes and sins. And the one thing we are supposed to look forward to is when we are back with our Savior.

It is just so hard though knowing others are out there suffering with all that is going on!

A couple of weeks ago I went to a dinner with my mom. The music person (who I have known almost my whole life) sang this song. A son I had never heard before. I have searched for it on youtube, online and I haven’t found it, any place. And those who really know me know I am pretty good at finding things online.

Tonight I found a poem and I am pretty certain this is the poem that he sang on that night. It was a song that brought me to tears. I am not typically brought to tears by music. There are times it just moves me and there are probably a handful of times I can recall a song bringing me to tears. But as I sat there in the church listening to the words it just hit me.

This man who was born and lived just like I am was sent here for me. He was a baby. He was in his mother’s womb and grew. He had ten tiny fingers and ten tiny toes. He wiggled around when she was pregnant. I haven’t been moved like that in a very long time.

I am sharing the poem with you and I hope it moves you as it did me in song form!

In Her Baby’s Tiny Hands

While pregnant with her Son
Beneath her heart within,
She’d often feel His hands
Moving inside her skin.

He’d stretch His arm and hand
And push out on her side
She’d lovingly push it back
With a smile so sweet and wide.

She could hardly wait
For His upcoming birth
To touch His tiny hands
And welcome Him to Earth.

Then it finally came,
The night that He was born.
With joy she couldn’t contain,
She held Him until morn.

She explored His tiny fingers.
She counted all His toes.
She wanted to get to know Him,
His ears, His cheeks, His nose.

The wonder of it all,
At this new baby boy!
She could not hold back.
She wept with tears of joy.

She touched His tiny hand,
A miniature of her own.
He squeezed it tight on her finger.
Such joy she had never known!

The time passed and He grew.
As a toddler, it was grand
To walk along and hold
His fleshy little hand.

She taught Him many things.
Together they spent hours.
She’d take His little hand
And touch it to a flower.

When she would hold Him close,
He soon developed the knack
Of hugging her ’round the neck,
His tiny hand patting her back.

As her Son grew older,
His young hands also grew.
He learned many ways to use them.
Each day brought something new.

She helped Him learn to read.
She helped Him learn to write.
Then, as the day was ending,
She’d pray with Him at night.

He learned to use a hammer
With which to drive a nail.
He’d sometimes strike His finger
And let out quite a wail!

Her Son continued growing
And soon became a Man.
She loved Him just as much
As when His life began.

His hands were now full grown,
So strong, yet tender, when
He, with deep compassion,
Comforted a friend.

She was extremely grateful
When His hands would fold;
And bowing His head in prayer,
To His Father in Heaven He’d hold.

As the years flew swiftly by,
She watched her Son with pride,
His strong but gentle arms
And hands there at His side.

She then thought her life was over.
She suffered unspeakable loss
When her Son’s beloved hands
Were nailed to a wooden cross . . .

But that was just the beginning.
For He died and rose again.
Her sorrow then was ended,
And joy replaced her pain.

For, you see, her Son was Jesus,
God coming to earth as Man,
To save us from our sins
According to His plan.

We cannot save ourselves.
Our sins would lead to death.
God put our sins on Jesus,
The perfect and the best.

With this came our forgiveness
If we believe in Him
And ask Him into our hearts,
He’ll take away our sins.

As He was resurrected,
Eternal Life He’ll bring
To all who have faith and believe
And to His hand will cling.

To Jesus be ALL Praise and Glory!

[ By Joyce Folsom Johnson ]

I am praying for those families who are not feeling the love, joy and peace that comes with this season. I am praying for those families who are hurting right now.

I pray this poem blesses you as it did me!

Welcome Back


Even with the ear pain I ventured out to church this morning. It was so good to be back there!

I miss the connection I have with my church family. They give love and support and prayer and this peace.

I think the best reaction today was one of my good friends there who was so excited to see me. She told me it made her day to see us at church.

I am feeling really good right now because I am feeling fed! YAY me!

It was great to be welcomed back!

Getting Debt Free


We have attempted to be debt free many times in the past (almost) six years.

For some strange reason today this peace came over me when I was looking over Dave Ramsey’s stuff again.

There are seven steps and I have never really followed them 100% but we have always followed a bit of them.

This time though I am going to bust hump, after Jack in the Box is getting paychecks again, and get that 1st step taken care of. Step one is saving up $1000.00 emergency fund.

Since we are not totally sure how much his checks will be I am thinking it will take around between 4 and 6 months to save that amount. So by Mid-July next year, at the latest I am hoping, we will be taking all of the extra funds we were putting into an emergency fund and putting it toward our debts.

Step two is the snowball debt payoff. How long that will take I have no clue but I am feeling some relief tonight with this decision being made!