Lovin and Living
This is a place for me to just be me… (All content Copyrighted Yeve Eeffoc 2008-2015)Archive for Present
Do You Feel Forgiven?
Do you really believe that Jesus was sent to this earth so that He could take your place on the cross? Do you believe that you are forgiven because Jesus took your place on the cross? Do you feel you are sinning without forgiveness if you don’t truly believe this?
To be forgiven means that all things in your past, present and future are not there. It doesn’t give you a free reign to do whatever you like, you still have to repent your sins to the Lord but you are forgiven.
Because I believe in Jesus, because I believe in the Father, because I believe in the Holy Spirit; I have to believe by Their grace I am saved, I am forgiven by Jesus taking my place on the cross and going through Hell for me.
If I were to stand in front of the Father tonight because I have left this earth and He was to ask me why I should be let in would I have an answer? Do I really believe I would go to heaven if something happened tonight?
Logically I can say that I know Jesus came here for me, was born, raised, taught sinners, outcasts and those who were shunned, had 12 disciples who left their lives and followed Him to carry on His teachings, He was put on trial, flogged, beaten, crowned with thrones, made to carry a cross after all of this happened to him, nailed to a cross with both his hands and feet, pierced in His side to make sure He was dead, laid to rest in a tomb, had a stone rolled in front of the opening with a guard standing watch and then He rose from the dead and it was all done for me.
I know this. I can read it in the Bible; which was left for me. I go to church and hear His message.
But deep down in my heart if I were to ask myself if I felt I would go to heaven, my answer would be about 50% certainty. I can tell others I am forgiven and I know there is nothing more I can do to make God love me and there is nothing I can’t do to make Him love me less. It doesn’t matter if I go to church or don’t go to church, it doesn’t matter if I tithe or don’t tithe, it doesn’t matter if I read the Bible or don’t read the Bible; I believe in Jesus and I am forgiven and if I were to stand in front of the Lord and He was to ask me why the answer would be, “Because You sent Your Son to the world to die on the cross for me and when I accepted Him into my life, I was forgiven and forever embraced by You.”
Now you have to realize that when you actually accept Jesus you want to be like Him, you want to be Jesus with skin on, you want to go to church and be with others who believe, you want to tithe, you want to sing His praise, you want to read the Bible, you want to grow and you want to be full of the fruits of the spirit.
So do you really feel forgiven? Do you really believe that accepting Jesus saves you?
I have a lot of work ahead of me but I know I am forgiven. Logically I know it, I just have to work on my heart and my head really believing it.
Much Needed Break
I really needed a break. A break from everything. A break from myself and my expectations. A break from my crazy life and the expectations I feel others put on me. I needed to walk away from the trap I have set up in my own mind that allows me to continue on the cycle that is self-defeating.
I have in the past couple of months come to realize a lot. One of those things is that I am not a fan of change (that part I already knew) but I really wanted to be able to have growth in me through Christ. Well you can’t have growth if you are not willing to change.
Change is so hard for me on multiple levels. I like the reliable, the knowing, the consistency. I may not be thrilled with who I am as a person all the time but if I don’t attempt to change I can’t fail and falter.
Then an even bigger question comes from my fears; Why am I so afraid of failing?
For a long time I have been telling myself that what others think of me really doesn’t matter. Or actually I have been trying to tell myself that living by others standards isn’t what matters, only the way Christ looks at me is what matters. The real question though is did and do I actually believe that? Is that how I live my life? Or am I always trying to live up to and meet the expectations of others or those I put on myself?
My one goal on this earth should be to live for Christ! And the one thing I should know is that there is nothing I can do to make Him love me more and there is nothing I can stop doing that will make Him love me less!
Abba sent His one and only Son to this world to save ME (and YOU)!
John 3:16-18
16 “God loved the world so much that he gave his one and only Son. Anyone who believes in him will not die but will have eternal life.
17 “God did not send his Son into the world to judge the world. He sent his Son to save the world through him. 18 Anyone who believes in him is not judged. But anyone who does not believe is judged already. He has not believed in the name of God’s one and only Son.
This really is a slow process for me because it is hard to believe that I could go the rest of my life not tithing and He still loves me. But the whole thing is when you love and accept Him into your life and into your heart you WANT to do His will. You want to give to others, you want to give to the church, you want to grow, you want to change and you want to be more and more Christ-like. The best thing though is that no matter what you do or don’t do it doesn’t change His life for you and it doesn’t change the fact that Jesus has already saved you.
Wow ~ Has any of that really sunk into you yet?
It is finally starting to sink in for me. I still have a lot of room for growth and I still struggle with believing it fully but it is starting to sink in.
If I am in a relationship with God and He is leading me to do something I should not fear what others are going to think of me by doing it. I should not fear failing at whatever it is either because if He is leading me and I fail, He is allowing me to learn a lesson and grow.
I needed a break and I fought it for a very long time. Then God took a couple of people away from me. Then God placed a couple of people around me to help me grow. Do I miss those people very much so but He is bringing them back into my life, slowly. I think I needed to realize some things and I needed to move forward. I really was wanting growth and I really was not wanting to change. So He took two of the biggest things in my life and rocked my boat and tipped it over. Which meant I had to trust that getting out and walking on water to Him I was going to be okay.
I am not perfect. I have a lot of room for growth and change. I love Christ. Jesus came to save me and I am not judged by Him because He took away all of my sins when they nailed Him to the cross. Those in my past, those in my present and those in my future. It doesn’t mean I should stay stagnant but I need to stop judging myself based upon the worlds standards and I only need to judge myself by His standards.
Lovin and Living 