Lovin and Living

This is a place for me to just be me… (All content Copyrighted Yeve Eeffoc 2008-2015)

Archive for Church

Day One


Once again I am going to participate in the thirty days of thanksgiving. I really should work on being more thankful more often. At times I believe I am a very thankful person and then other times I am not so much.

Today I am thankful for my church family. I realized recently that not everyone has a church family the way I am lucky to have one! I have friends that I can talk to, praise with, sing with, share with, laugh with, and just enjoy!

I never realized how much churches really struggle in the country and world. The average church in the USA is around 50 members! That is our average Bible study at our church!

Of course there are some churches that are bigger than that. You have your mega churches. We are NOT that by any means but we are a decent sized church.

We live in a very special area because we are in a very Christian area in our state. When you are sick and a Pastor comes to talk to you, most of the Doctors and Nurses will ask if they can pray with you. How very amazing is that. The other side of our state isn’t like that.

I am very thankful for my church family. I love them all for caring, sharing, praying and being His hands here on earth!

No Church


I can say without a doubt that I will not be in church tomorrow.

I have been in bed all day. Drinking water filled with lemon oil. Diffusing thieves oil.

Fever is still here. Throat feels better. Ears and sinuses are killing me.

I really hate missing church but I will not expose everyone there to whatever we have in this house.

God has a plan and apparently that plan includes me missing church. Not happy about it but on the plus side, my church does put the sermons online so I will still get to hear it!

Decided to Follow Jesus


Things have been very rough for me lately. I have been full of worry and sadness over a lot of different things. Except as a Christian I am supposed to give thanks and praise, even when we are struggling. We are supposed to thank God for our difficulties because they are teaching us something. Not only do they teach us something but they allow us to have a deeper more intimate relationship God! When you are tuned into your relationship with God you feel the comfort He is giving to you! Those struggles also allow us to know, understand and give comfort to others who are now going through similar issues.

2 Corinthians 1:3-7
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ. If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer.And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort.

Today in church I was moved to tears. There are times I am so into the praise songs and worship I am overtaken with emotions. Today happened to be one of those days.

Today these words crept into my soul. It isn’t that I have never decided to follow Jesus but today they sunk into my heart and soul and it brought me to tears. Those are the days when you know you really need to pay attention because He is talking to you in a BIG way! He wants you to listen , He wants you to grow closer to Him, He wants you to feel Him wrap His arms around you, and He wants to be in your life every second to share the good and the bad with you!

Today in church I was moved to tears and I could feel Him with me, wrapping His arms around me. Today I decided to follow Jesus, again and it took on a whole new meaning.

Whose Sight Is Important?


For a really long time I was worried about what others thought of me. I would worry when people didn’t like me. I would wonder what I did wrong. You see I really am not the most likable person around. I don’t think like most people do, I don’t act like most people do, and that seems to cause issues in this world.

When I speak to people I have a really, really, really, really hard time looking people in the eyes. I seriously find myself looking all around and then when I realize I am doing it, I have to FORCE myself to continue to look at them. It isn’t even that I don’t look in their eyes, when I do look at their face I have to force myself to look in their eyes. I have thought many times lately about how it probably really offends people when you don’t look in their eyes when you talk to them or even when you are just listening to them.

That isn’t my only issue with fitting in but it is a huge one. And I find myself avoiding people at times because of this issue. I don’t want people to think I don’t like them or care about them because I can’t look into their eyes while we have a conversation. This right here is partly why I would really prefer to talk on the phone, text or even communication through chat programs. I don’t have to look at them!

When Skype and Facetime came about I freaked out because again what do you do – you are talking to someone but you have to LOOK at them. Sigh…

I have realized though what others see in me isn’t really important because God knows my true heart and my true intentions. But even more important than that I have had this thought as well – how others see you is not important but how others see God in you is.

This doesn’t mean I need to run out and talk to everyone so that they see God in me. I can do other things that are just as pleasing and show my Christ-like heart. Things like sending cards, praying, making a meal, paying off my debt, tithing, attending church, attending church activities, and even something as simple as spending time with Him and His word with my children around so they can see how important He is in my life.

So when your feeling down because of how others see you try to realize that God made you, just the way you are because He knew who you needed to be and He knit you together inside your mother’s womb (Psalm 139:13). What is the most important is how others see God in you!

I Got It


I actually think I finally have a much better idea as to why I am so upset and so ticked off at my husband!

Long ago he said to me, “I would never go off and do things without the family especially if we can’t afford to be doing things as a family.” So that is part of it. And then the other part of it is that we don’t do things together as husband and wife because we can’t afford to.

He doesn’t feel as if he does a lot. I feel as if he does a lot. Who is right? We are probably very about in the middle with both of our feelings.

He does a lot with the gun club. Shooting, events, working at events and helping at the club house. He goes every Thursday to his friends for a “union meeting” (a bunch of guys sitting in a garage to talk about fishing and hunting). Every other Wednesday night he goes to the gun club for a meeting. Add in there fishing/hunting with the nephews or friends and playing basketball every Sunday and the occasional golf outing and the list goes on.

Now the list of what I do is really simple. Church on Sundays and 3rd week of September to 3rd week of May Bible study every Wednesday morning (minus 4 weeks in there for Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Spring Break).

Now how about what we do as a family. Our local zoo (when he is feeling guilty about doing things on his own), walks (me and the monkey’s), parks (typically me and monkey’s) and playing outside with the monkey’s.

Now how about what we do as a couple. We have gone on 1 date a year over the last 4 years (we are talking about a few hours out). We have gone to funerals together (but I am not so sure that counts). We ran the golf outing together last year (but not sure that really counts since I didn’t see much of him). We sit in the same room together some nights.

You know it isn’t like we have to do a lot together but I just feel as if he invests more energy and effort into those outside of this house. And it is really bothering me, if you can’t tell!

I think it is bothering me so badly because it is seriously starting to remind me of my Ex. He did whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted and our family did very little when it came to “vacations”. I have tried to talk to Jack in the Box but when I do he makes me feel bad. I don’t believe it is intentional, it is how he feels and he is entitled to that. I am just really frustrated.

3 AM Wake Up Call


Well I had to get up at 3 AM because my bladder was screaming at me. This is a usual thing for me. I am a restless sleeper lately (for a few years now) and so I don’t get the best sleep. And when my bladder is getting full, because I am not sleeping all that well I know.

Last night however was a bit different.

At church yesterday they were talking about what is your burning bush. And the three who were speaking spoke about how they were slowly confronted by God through others. And it wasn’t so much a confrontation like most think of one. They were slow transformations.

My husband doesn’t share my passion for church or Jesus. And to be honest I believe in Him but lately my passion has been waning as well. I hate feeling this way. But I am the only one who can change it.

But at 3 AM Jack in the Box and his family and nephews popped into my mind. And I had a visual of one of the boys asking me, “Why I go to church?”

And my first thought was, “Because I enjoy it.” but that isn’t why I should be going. Yes it helps that I enjoy going to church but my answer really should consist of, “Because I love Jesus”.

If someone were to ask you why you go to church what would your answer be?

I know there are a lot of answers and reasons why and your only answer doesn’t have to be because of the love for the Lord but shouldn’t that be part of your answer?

I felt really convicted last night as I was thinking about this. I really don’t think if someone asked me why I go that my first response would ever have been because of my love for Him!

I have a lot to think about and a lot to work on!

My Faith


Seems to have some serious issues lately. It isn’t His fault at all. It is 100% my fault.

I haven’t been reading my Bible and spending my time with God daily. I need to get back to that.

I have been praying but not like I should be.

I am attending church still so I have that going for me. I was attending Bible study but that has ended until the fall season starts back up.

I am just feeling so lost lately and I know why. Because I am not close to Him right now. I am not soaking myself in His word. I am not doing what needs to be done to be close, to hear Him when He talks to me or answers a prayer, or when He is saying, “STOP”. I just don’t hear it right now because I am not close to Him so I don’t know if what I hear is Satan or if it is Him.

I know how to fix it and yet I am not fixing it. Do you know how much that must hurt Him? I know what to do I just have to start doing it!

God please I beg of you, draw me in once again. Make me have the urge and want and need to be with You on a daily basis. I seem to be missing something that is making me want to do this and I don’t like how it makes me feel or what I am doing because of it.

Friday, Friday


I have a lot of work to do on my insides.

I am really discovering that I am not as great as I would like to be. I am pretty frustrated with my Jack in the Box. I don’t want to be frustrated with him.

I am frustrated with a lot and a lot of it I don’t think I have a right to be frustrated with these things.

Jack in the Box does shooting each year from January until March. This means each Sunday he doesn’t go to church and he is gone from morning until about 2:30-3 each Sunday. And then to top it off he then leaves to go and play basketball each Sunday night with some friends.

Well he has since decided he is wanting to join the club he shoots at. Which means he now on top of being gone on Sundays has to work 3 Sundays during the winter season, work a spring clean up and work 3 days for the spring league. Sigh… PLUS it will cost $150 a year for membership. On the days he works he is gone until just about 5 each Sunday.

I am frustrated with this for a lot of reasons. Sigh…

Then add to it I am not sure if I am more frustrated at myself for being upset with all of it or I am more upset that it wasn’t discussed and that he is doing this because he enjoys it and doesn’t care what I think or say.

 

Sunday Sanity


I didn’t want to go to church today. I have an awful migraine last night and felt horrible. But something was pulling me there. I personally know it was God telling me to get to church but I will be the first to admit I don’t always follow what He wants for me. Of course that leads me to more heartache than anything else.

I am working through a few things currently. I have a long way to go.

This isn’t something I say lightly but I worry about my husband because he isn’t as into being a Christian as I am. And the sad thing is I am not as good of one as I should be! There are things I put in front of God as well. I am personally working on it. My husband though doesn’t see anything wrong with what he does. It saddens me at times.

At church today it was about these verses:

Mark 4: 1-20

The Parable of the Sower

Again Jesus began to teach by the lake. The crowd that gathered around him was so large that he got into a boat and sat in it out on the lake, while all the people were along the shore at the water’s edge. He taught them many things by parables, and in his teaching said: “Listen! A farmer went out to sow his seed. As he was scattering the seed, some fell along the path, and the birds came and ate it up. Some fell on rocky places, where it did not have much soil. It sprang up quickly, because the soil was shallow. But when the sun came up, the plants were scorched, and they withered because they had no root. Other seed fell among thorns, which grew up and choked the plants, so that they did not bear grain. Still other seed fell on good soil. It came up, grew and produced a crop, some multiplying thirty, some sixty, some a hundred times.”

Then Jesus said, “Whoever has ears to hear, let them hear.”

10 When he was alone, the Twelve and the others around him asked him about the parables. 11 He told them, “The secret of the kingdom of God has been given to you. But to those on the outside everything is said in parables 12 so that,

“‘they may be ever seeing but never perceiving,
and ever hearing but never understanding;
otherwise they might turn and be forgiven!’[a]

13 Then Jesus said to them, “Don’t you understand this parable? How then will you understand any parable? 14 The farmer sows the word. 15 Some people are like seed along the path, where the word is sown. As soon as they hear it, Satan comes and takes away the word that was sown in them. 16 Others, like seed sown on rocky places, hear the word and at once receive it with joy. 17 But since they have no root, they last only a short time. When trouble or persecution comes because of the word, they quickly fall away. 18 Still others, like seed sown among thorns, hear the word; 19 but the worries of this life, the deceitfulness of wealth and the desires for other things come in and choke the word, making it unfruitful. 20 Others, like seed sown on good soil, hear the word, accept it, and produce a crop—some thirty, some sixty, some a hundred times what was sown.”

I love the way verse 12 was explained. This is a very confusing verse for a lot of people. They feel that Jesus is saying that He doesn’t want non-believers to understand what is being said. But that isn’t the case at all. He is talking about the fact there are times to sow to non believers but when gathering for worship there needs to be words, learning and depth to the message that only a believer is going to understand.

But what really spoke to me today was this song:

Bible Study


I know I have said it before and I know I will say it many more times but I love my Sunday’s and Wednesday’s.

I go to church on Wednesdays and there is this really great group of women who I meet with to do Bible study with.

Typically we are reading books and applying it to our lives and discussing it.

Bible study feeds my soul and I love going. Today I am really grateful we had Bible study! I needed to connect with like-minded women and have a sense that God is near.

He does hear me. He does answer me, even though it might not be the answer I would like. He does love me. He does want what is best for me.

I need to just remember as of late that:

God is NEVER early

God is NEVER late

God is ALWAYS right on time!